Whenever I get freshly obsessed with a new television show I change my career path. I legitimately wanted to be a criminal when I watched Sons of Anarchy. There was the phase which everyone goes though in which they want to be a Crime Scene Investigator, the phase in which I absolutely had to be a criminal behavior analyst, the phase when I couldn’t possibly imagine being anything other than whatever Blaire Waldorf is, and then there’s my current obsession with becoming a doctor.
“Do you think me switching to pre-med is smart? Or just an after effect of watching too much Hart of Dixie?” I asked Marla.
“Blame Hart of Dixie” she said.
Ok OK, I’ll blame the television. But here’s the thing. I’ve been dreaming about it. I don’t mean planning it out in my head and imagining what life would be like if my 9-5 was conducting autopsies, I mean like… every night I’ve been having dreams that I’m in med school. So naturally, I asked my most trusted advising council: Mom & Dad.
“Hey Mom, Hey Daddy, what would you think if I got my Major in English but also minored in pre-med? You know, chemistry, bio, biochemistry, organic biology…”
My Mother, supportive in a very realistic way, was all “well, it’ll take a bit more than that to get into med school… let’s just stay on track and see how you do in one biology class, shall we?”
My Father, the dreamer & anything’s possible-r, was all “well, your prescriptions would be a hoot to read!”
This is true. Both valid points. Naturally, then, I asked two of my other advisory council members (besties, obviously) and the response was similar.
Friend A: Haha! Since when have you wanted to be a Doctor? It’s hard to get into med school and it would mean another 7ish years of school. See how you do in bio first!
A typical ‘my mother’ response.
Friend B: Med school. Definitely med school. Go for it!
A typical ‘my father’ response.
Ah, balance. You’re so refreshing. Obviously I then went to go and see an Academic Advisor. With whom I had the following conversation:
A: Let me get this straight, you’re in the last year of your English Lit degree and you’re thinking of switching to pre-med…
Me: Yes, that’s right.
A: What sciences did you take in high school?
Me: Um… Earth Science
A: I see… so you have no bio or chemistry?
Me: No, is that a problem?
A: Not exactly, you would have to play catch up for one semester so you acquire all the per-requs, but otherwise I think you would be able to finish around the same time you were hoping to. You just need… 6 lab sciences.
Me: Oh, great, thanks!
A: Um, Ms. Parker, before you go can we just take a look at your average?
Me: oh…um… sure….
A: Great. So it looks here like you’d have a good chance getting in with your GPA, the problem is that your lowest grades have been in the sciences and they’ll definitely be looking at that when you apply for Medical school. I would say you need a 95% average in the six sciences you’re about to take. So… I’m just going to go out on a limb and suggest that you really consider how badly you want this. Because you’re a smart girl but… that’s a lot of ass kissing…
Yes. Yes that is a lot of “ass kissing”. Even for someone who’s a pretty good “ass kisser”. The problem here isn’t that I couldn’t do it. I’m one of those “I could rule the world If I just applied myself” people. My Mother is still convinced I could have been the female Michael Phelps if I had ‘just applied myself’. It’s not that I can’t get 95% in six lab sciences - It’s that even if I put in the effort and kill all my friendships and rock JC’s to labs every day of the week I’m still never going to end up as a private practice MD in Bluebell, Alabama falling in love with George Tucker who’s engaged to marry Lemon Brieland but will leave her the day of the wedding to run to my house which is covered in spanish moss and is on a plantation that belongs to the Mayor who just so happens to be an ex NFL football player who’s super good looking in the pouring rain to confess his love to me – even though I had just given up all hope he would ever love me in return and had romantically coidal-ed in candle light with Wade, the sexy bad boy who lives next door and shares a fuse box with me that I’ve had sexual tension with since day one. Oh. And no one would die ever, because that’s not real life.
Yeah. EVEN IF I got into med school, that would never happen. Mostly because I’m Canadian and those work visa’s are bitches. So, I’m just going to stick with fourth year English. Write a book about being a doctor instead. But dammit, I’m going to get 95% in my first year biology just to prove a point.
xo & yw
