Back in September I wrote a blog post about how I was deciding to live minimally and refusing to buy a couch.
When I say I was refusing to buy a couch, what I really meant was I preferred to eat as opposed to have something squishy to sit on while I ate. Money isn’t really one of my playing cards these days.
So, I made the best of it. I set up a corner of my living room that was dedicated to having a permanent floor bed and I rejoiced in the idea that — one day — when I was a mother of three and financially responsible enough to own Anthropolgie furniture while at the same time still able to afford lunch meat, I could give my kids epic story times.
“I remember when I was so poor I had to use my carpet as a couch and eat rice noodles and soya sauce four nights a week!”
And they’d be all “Mom! You own, like, forty pairs of Louboutins. That did NOT happen.”
But that day dream got boring REAL quick, seeing as I don’t plan on having kids for another . . . very long time.
So, still being poor, I added an extra activity to my morning routine. After I had coffee and planned my imaginary life for 20 minutes on Pinterest, I would scour the less-than-$100 couch section of Kijiji.
I have been scouring the less-that-$100 couch section on Kijiji since November — that’s how shitty the less-than-$100 couch section on the Kamloops, British Columbia Kijiji is.
My apartment started to make me angry because all it housed was 1000 books and 100 pairs of heels. And a cat (who, if you can’t tell from the above picture, is about the size of my entire apartment #fat).
My productivity dwindled down to nothing when I was at home because I was just so much more tempted to look up “how to make an empty apartment look full” as opposed to writing papers on the chivalric code.
I realized that — whether I was a fake minimalist or not (not)— in order to be “happy” at home, home had to feel like home. And — whether I liked it or not (not) — deep in my heart I knew that my home needed a couch.
That’s why, four days ago, when I saw the most perfectly hideous, but also totally presh couch and chair set for sale by the cutest old couple ever I chose not to pay my phone bill, and why I am now currently being productive on my brand new-old floral print couch.
I feel like a new woman.
And no, not because I’m sitting on the most hipster couch ever.
I feel like a new woman because I allowed myself to listen to what it was I felt I really needed, despite how trivial it seemed.
It’s my experience that we have a hard time doing that for ourselves. We tell ourselves that we are going to remain minimalistic, because it’s practical. We tell ourselves to only get an Americano as opposed to a white chocolate mocha, because who really needs to drink 500 calories when you can drink 0 and still get a buzz.
It goes back to that old parental statement I got all the time growing up — you don’t NEED it, Andria. You WANT it.
Maybe. Maybe I didn’t need a couch, because my carpet was perfectly functional. Maybe I did just wantone.
But what’s the difference if what you want makes positive changes in your life?
Waking up this morning and walking into my living room that now appears to actually be a living room, I knew I had fixed something that had been irking me since I moved in. It wasn’t that I wanted a couch, I simply needed a home.
Sometimes our whims are the best indication of what it is that’s really eating us.
So, if I was you, I’d just get the white chocolate mocha already and see what happens.